Saturday, June 02, 2012

Friends are like flowers

There's a children's song that goes "friends are like flowers in the garden of life". The bridge is: Are you a daisy? Are you a rose? Are you a dandelion?


I may be getting old and curmudgeon-ish. My recent trials have left me with the distinct impression that friends are indeed like flowers. Some are just plain beautiful (like my Spred friends who helped me garden!). They need to be cultivated and appreciated. They are beautiful flowers or even healthy, nourishing fruits and vegetables!

Some are very clearly weeds and need to be dug out and composted. I am reluctant to do this with real weeds, let alone people who are destructive in my life. But it has to be done sometimes. For example, if one is a recovering alcoholic that person might need to "weed out" old drinking buddies. In my case, I am discovering that people who do not understand my situation and think I should be doing more for them than I can, are destructive to me. I like to be of use to others - but in my spare time! Not as a full time occupation or on demand. I don't actually HAVE a lot of spare time. I am very reluctant to "weed" these people out. But I have noticed that the ones that need the most help are often the ones who have very little trouble finding a new savior. I may be very expendable and not particularly important to them.

Then there is the bamboo. You can't get rid of it really. In our case, we inherited it from previous owners. I think we all have some bamboo people in our lives. These are people who, for one reason or another, you cannot get rid of, who are naturally beautiful, but who can be incredibly invasive if not contained. Building boundaries around bamboo is the hardest task facing this gardener both physically and metaphorically!