Truth or Propaganda?

I got e-mail from someone I am not sure I know. She basically sent it to everyone in her address book. It starts out something like “I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind, but I think everyone ought to read the following. It’s written by a very intelligent man who isn’t a name-caller and doesn’t use scare tactics or anything. He just lists some facts that we all ought to consider.”

Now I’m not going to tell you anything about the issue involved because that’s not the point. Suffice it to say that it was regarding an issue that is hotly debated in our society today. I’m not going to tell you whether the attachment was from a conservative or a liberal because it doesn’t matter. It wasn’t the position that bothered me as much as the irresponsible manner in which he presented his opinions and the fact that someone out there actually thought it was intelligent, well reasoned and not a scare tactic or name calling.

Okay, honestly, it was a position I happen to oppose. But I don’t like it when people I agree with use these same tactics. I just notice them more when someone with whom I disagree uses them.

First of all, it was very large, bold type. Anyone who is visually screaming is not calm or reasoned.

Secondly, there wasn’t a single fact in the whole article. It was mostly polemic and opinion dressed as fact. He said things like if we take this course of action we will be just like people in country X. “God Forbid”. Okay, I don’t actually know much about the situation in country X and what I do know is all good. So I’m not exactly sure what horror he is asking God to Forbid. I’ve got a hunch that many of his readers also don’t know. But he sounds like he knows and he says “God Forbid.” This is a scare tactic.

He then goes on to rip to shreds the spokesperson for the issue he is opposing. He uses opinion dressed as fact over and over. He says this person is the kind of person who says what you want to hear but then does the opposite. This sounds like a fact, but it isn’t. It is slander unless he backs it up with some actual fact. He doesn’t actually call the spokesperson a back-stabber. I guess that’s what my correspondent meant when she said he isn’t a name-caller. But the implication is clear. Then he goes on to advise us to watch what he does rather than what he says. This is pretty good advice and sounds like something a father would say. So it tends to give credence to the unsupported nastiness that preceded it. But that is not the same as giving facts to support these claims.

I could go on, but you get the idea. If you don’t, try reading the rules for submitting an article to Wikipedia. There is a very good example of what good, honest, factual writing should be like.

So I shot her back two e-mails I recently received on the same issue. One was a real article on the issue with real facts written by someone who has really studied the issue. The other was a thoughtful opinion written by a man who is truly concerned for the welfare of humanity. It was conciliatory and embracing and written in normal type. I didn’t really think about why I sent them. Upon reflection, I think my real agenda was to show her what facts and opinion without scare tactics and name calling look like.

But she shot back an e-mail saying that she is educated and informed and I need to look into the issue more. Well, probably she’s right. But I’m not going to allow myself to be educated and informed by nasty people, so I asked her to remove me from her address book and she did.

I don’t mean to say that she is nasty. As I said, I don’t actually know who this woman is. It sounds like she is a nice person. But we both obviously think the other person is kind of dumb and misled and we neither of us want to hear what the other has to say.

Is this the core of what is disturbing me? I’m a nice person. If two nice women can’t find a common ground for discussing things they disagree on, what hope is there for the world? Or am I just annoyed that someone who doesn’t understand the difference between fact and opinion and cannot recognize not very subtle propaganda has my e-mail address?

Jonah and the Whale

For some reason, several people have spoken to me lately about this Bill Maher movie on religion. Seems goofy to me. I mean, who cares what he thinks? He's cranky! But I did just waste half an hour trying to figure out what I actually think about Jonah and the Whale. I haven't thought about him since I was a kid! So I haven't even seen the movie and it's making me think. That's never a bad thing, is it?

So here's what I came up with:
"There's more in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio." Maybe it could have happened. But I don't really care! It isn't relevant. I don't think it matters whether or not there was a Jonah, let alone whether or not there was a whale!

Myth often brings us truth more profoundly than fact.

So the point of that story is not the whale. The point of the story is... well what IS the point?

More often than not, control is an illusion and safety a gift.

If God is trying to speak to you, it is better to listen than to run.

In this world, the answer to the question, "why" is usually silence.

My Take on Sara Palin

As the mother of a son with profound disabilities, I was initially thrilled to hear a woman say she, as a fellow mother with a child with disabilities, would be my advocate in Washington. The world needs people like us in power. There would be less war and more compassion. I am a firm believer in all mothers who work. Mothers and fathers of children with disabilities have already made a huge difference in the world. They have not only fought long and hard to make things better for their children and for the rest of the population of people with disabilities, they have worked to make this a more just and humane world for all of us.

But the next day I saw a picture of her with her baby on a magazine cover and started to have doubts. This child is an infant! Governor Palin has more experience in Foreign Policy than she has as the mother of a child with disabilities. Her foreign policy experience is based on trade negotiations with her two closest neighbors, Canada and Russia. And she's been doing that for several months longer than she has been the mother of a child with Down's Syndrome!

I would be a lot happier if this child were older and I knew this family had successfully faced the challenges that are clearly on the horizon for them.

My concern is more than "Walk the Walk before you Talk the Talk." The first three years of being a parent of a child with disabilities are hell. Parents and siblings have to come to terms with the profound way in which the core of their lives will change. There is a deep grieving process that must occur if the family is going to come to a place of acceptance and move forward into a very different future successfully. There are an endless stream of questions that must be answered, doctors and physical therapists and other specialists to be consulted. Children with Down's Syndrome often have medical issues that need to be addressed in the first few years. There is also the problem of dealing with the confusing issues of aid. How much financial assistance will the family require and is it available? What kind of in-home assistance will be needed for the extra care required? There is a seemingly endless stream of helpful people who suddenly think
they have the right to invade your private life whether you have invited them in or not.

It sounds like Gov. Palin has a very supportive husband who will have to become the primary caregiver and advocate for their child. But even though I took on that role for our son, I would have been lost if I hadn't had my husband close by to support me and co-parent. I can't imagine how Mr. Palin will manage if his partner is on the other side of the continent!

There is rage, confusion, sorrow and guilt to be faced and every day seems to bring a new insurmountable problem. Many marriages do not survive this initial period. Many careers are lost simply because the stress from home is too great. Someone who has already dealt successfully with this process might very well be transformed into a person who could change the world.

There are many women I would like to see in Washington. I think, after tackling the difficult journey of becoming the mother of a child with disabilities, Sara Palin might someday become one of them. But right now, I think it is really too bad she didn't blink.

Mom

Mom, originally uploaded by Unquabain.

I just thought this was a pretty good picture of me.

Poem Crazy

I have this book, "poemcrazy" by Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge. ("This is a wonderful book..." - Anne Lamott on the front cover. What more can I say?) Copyright 1996 - so it's been sitting in my house 12 years, I guess. I haven't read it yet because I love the title and the recommendation, but it turns out it terrifies me. Poems are supposed to be OTHER people opening themselves up to me and revealing their wonderous selves. I love to do the work of listening to others as they reveal themselves. It is sometimes hard work, but that just makes the moment of illumination brighter.

What I failed to pay attention to on the front cover is the red box (red for danger?) which says "freeing your life with words". MY life! This book has assignments. This book is about Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge teaching me to illuminate myself through my own poems! My Stars and Garters!

Yes, she opens herself up and it is delightful. She is a compelling, creative, forceful, enchanting human being. But then she wants me to... write things.

So this morning I picked it up again and started at the back - something I do when I'm scared of a book. Chapter 56: Sometimes, if things aren't going to fall apart, we have to take them apart. This may be what's heaped in a closet or it may be the way we've been living our lives. Our culture doesn't see the value of this occurrence. When crisis or collapse is happening, it's almost impossible to recognize the unraveling, much less the honor of it. It can feel like being bumped backwards out of control downhill into chaos as we level the old to break out of what binds us and create something new and free. If we had a name for this process, maybe we could see it differently and recognize the forward motion despite all appearances."

I have been in free fall since my father's murder. Maybe longer ago than that. Maybe it is time to spread my wings and learn to fly. For my birthday, I am spending two nights at "Heartland Spa" to learn to knit exercise, nutrition, meditation and self care into a new lifestyle. I need to unravel almost 100 pounds before I can fly. It is more than body fat - it is almost 100 pounds of stress and pain and things I don't want to explore.

Sometime in the next few weeks we will purchase our first home. I am deliberately rewriting the rules of my marriage once again. I think Charley and I are far too interconnected to ever divorce, but we are not happy and I have always wanted a happy marriage and do not see why we can't have one. So I'm changing it.

Maybe it is time to read this book.

The other book I'm reading (one of the other books) is Elizabeth Zimmerman's Knitter's Almanac. I'm carrying it around with me in my knitting bag. I am not making any of the projects in it, I am actually making two other projects: One of them is a hand dyed lace shawl from Lorna's Lace and the second is Elizabeth Zimmerman's Baby Surprise Jacket in a Paton's silk/bamboo blend for my granddaughter, Zora. But reading the almanac is so wonderful. She shares so much wisdom about knitting and, if you are a knitter, it flows into life so neatly. For the same reason I bought Ruth Page's Gardening Journal. But I don't think I'll start that until we pick the house and I have an actual garden!

Tahreq

T&Mom, originally uploaded by Unquabain.

Don't we look good together?

Natasha

N&Mom, originally uploaded by Unquabain.

I could get used to this grandmother thing